WR0N9wear ~ RSS Feed

offend you

As I have said before, many of these shirts are fair warnings.

$ 17.00

keep smiling

In one sense it's a "take heart and do your own thing" kind of message. In another sense, it's a subtle hint that you're about to get hurt.

$ 17.00

serial killer

It's DEEP. That's some DEEP science. Ya feel me? Naw? Whatev.

$ 17.00

to live

It's a simple question...isn't it?

$ 12.00

disaster

This phrase keeps coming to mind lately, so it was "inevitable" that it would end up on a shirt.

$ 17.00

Poisonous

The animal kingdom has demonstrated that it's not always whether or not you die, but whether or not you can take someone else with you in the process.

$ 21.00

not OK

Straightforward and upfront. And no, I don't want to talk about it.

$ 19.00

how are you

I was trying to be polite. Next time I'll just taser you like I usually do.

$ 18.90

when you give up

Take a good look, kids. This is the future you have waiting for you if you don't do everything your parents tell you to do.

$ 19.00

stabbing

Some people are great at making small talk. Some people don't respond well to knife wounds.

$ 19.00

who needs angels

$ 19.00

ingredients

100% RDA of ominous portent.

$ 19.00

lube

Love can do many things, but it can't prevent soreness or chafing caused by lack of foresight.

$ 19.00

close enough

$ 16.00

yeah whatever

You know, it's kinda...I don't know.

$ 16.00

quality

I am asserting my perfect right as an uberconsumer.

$ 19.00

black hole of fun

You will now be sucked into my socially awkward gravitational pull.

$ 20.00

everything fails

$ 20.00

you are a terrorist

Anyone who is offended by this shirt should be reported to NHS immediately.

$ 19.00

someone hates you

$ 16.00

tomorrow

Hopefully, this requires no further explanation.

$ 16.00

last comments

Wear this shirt and they can say whatever they want after you're dead...but they CAN'T say you didn't give them the chance to say it to you.

$ 19.00

fired

Or at the very least, new policy was implemented to make sure it would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

$ 15.00

destroy my life

No seminars, no prescription drugs, no holistic therapies...just good old fashioned self-annihilation.

$ 15.00

true evil

Anyone can kill a person. Slowly and methodically stripping them of their dignity and will to live...that requires practice.

$ 12.00

smiling

If I'm laughing, it's too late to get somewhere safe.

$ 15.00

smile

Any lack of pleasantness on your part is interpreted as a potential threat on my part. I suggest you fake it until you're out of visual range.

$ 19.00

afraid

We bring most hardship on ourselves. The sad part is, we refuse to realize it.

$ 12.00

blame

Offer the whiners around you a subtle reminder that whatever they're whining about is usually their own fault.

$ 12.00

what if

This isn't speaking to any one specific idea. For some people it will simply be another excuse to pick a fight. Those are the people we call victims.

$ 15.00

sociopath

$ 15.00

FTAFY

Yes, it's an acronym, and quite possibly one that everyone can get behind. The T stands for THIS, the A stands for AND, and the Y stands for YOU. The two Fs represent a four-letter word most people will be familiar with. Now on regular T-shirt...because the people that would care about hemp probably wouldn't buy this shirt.

$ 12.00

hot to death

A localized expression that not everyone will understand...unless your shoes are melting into the pavement, in which case it will make sense to everyone.

$ 15.00

I wish

A simple wish...ah, but what if it magically came true?

$ 15.00

stop complaining

an activist slogan for the new millennium, printed on an earth-friendly hemp shirt with ink made from the blood of tyrannical oppressors. We're lying about one of those things.

$ 18.87

day care

Yet another subtle way of saying I wish my acquaintances would grow up and stop all the petty behind-the-back talk.

$ 21.00

allergic

Exposure usually results in one or several of the following symptoms: sneezing, congestion, hives, and a tendency towards physical violence.

$ 21.00

balance

MODIFIED for people who are biting the bullet - or thinking about eating one. The one really good thing about unemployment? Not being confronted with people that need to be throttled.

$ 16.00

spankings don't work

It's really hard to get people to behave, especially when they reach a certain age. Like 40.

$ 19.00

social networking

A slightly modified version of an older shirt.

$ 21.00

time is your enemy

It's up to you if you want to do it quickly or slowly.

$ 18.50

Brought my gun

It never fails...I go somewhere, and someone needs killin'.

$ 16.00

Everything and everyone

Updated for greater impact. Now it kind of looks like the old "Frankie Say" shirts. Except it's not.

$ 15.00

Your worst interests

Everything you're thinking about me is probably true. Except the thing about Satan.

$ 19.00

none of this

I keep waiting to wake up.

$ 16.00

You keep lighting them up, I'll keep blowing them out.

$ 20.50

negotiations

However it comes out, you're probably on the bad end of the deal.

$ 21.50

I care

You caught me at a bad time. Come back in an hour and I'll see if I can squeeze you in my emotional schedule.

$ 18.50

family values

Kids are usually able to work longer when you don't separate them from the parents. Sure you might have to take grandma, but it's a minor issue.

$ 18.50

Necronomicon

I would go into more detail, but that would involve certain words I can't say aloud without horrible consequences.

$ 18.50

here to stop you

Sorry, I'm just higher on the "need to be happy" food chain.

$ 21.00

later on

Just so you know I have no illusions left.

$ 16.00

when I die

It's the only way I can be sure you won't be able to say anything about me behind my back.

$ 16.00

apparently

Step a little closer and I'll remedy that.

$ 18.50

I love the Internet

But I like you. Especially if you buy a t-shirt here.

$ 21.00

turn you in

Let's see you try that same mess with people who are authorized to shoot you.

$ 21.00

something is wrong

Paranoia is not just a mental disorder. It's an art.

$ 18.50

just give up

Three little words that mean so much.

$ 19.00

deaf blind mad

Going, going...

$ 23.50

stop

You know you do.

$ 19.00

The stench

It smells like the house of that elderly relative you have that has a television with no cable. And lots of inspirational magazines.

$ 21.50

not here to help

Later on, they will say many horrible things about you. But the one thing they can't say is that you didn't warn them.

$ 16.00

Watch me die

My body is a temple. I will now defile it for your entertainment or profit.

$ 18.50

the final sign

Please allow me to introduce myself, etc.

$ 19.00

gay male dwarf porn

The Internet suggests that "dwarf" is the preferred term. Even though no one really listens to the Internet anyway. But the point is...this is the exception to Rule 34. Don't believe me? Go look.

$ 23.50

first

So there. Nyah.

$ 18.50

something bad

I haven't figured out how to tailor it to whatever you said. But I'm working on that.

$ 18.50

Private Mercenary

Make massive dough, kill everything in sight...and probably score all the hotties.

$ 18.50

my fault

I even gave myself the back problems from shouldering the weight of the Universe.

$ 18.50

hurt the ones you love

If sex is a weapon, then love would be like some kind of ammunition that's illegal now.

$ 18.50

ZOMGLOLFOADIAF

Don't understand what it means? Ask any 10 year old in the vicinity. (If you don't have a 10 year old nearby, it's ZOh My God Laughing Out Loud F*ck Off And Die In A Fire.)

$ 18.50

Peace of mind

You wouldn't believe what I have to do to get some backbone.

$ 17.00

scopolamine

Why knock them out when you can make them do whatever you want and have no memory of it later? We're not endorsing that, mind you.

$ 21.00

game shows

At least in life there's no stupid theme song or host making bad jokes.

$ 18.50

more orgasms

Maybe you don't dig it. But your elder relatives do. In fact, some of them are probably going to work on it later.

$ 16.00

dead soon

...and the world will be safer for your flimsy idea of a safe, clean, wholesome future.

$ 16.00

Grandparents

Senior citizens make better lovers because they've had time to think up kinky stuff.

$ 18.50

My existence proves

...and apparently, he has a really sick sense of humor.

$ 18.50

Guess

Wrong! It's ME!

$ 18.50

Gay drug addict

DISCLAIMER: We're not saying all homosexuals are or will be drug users. Just politicians.

$ 21.00

homosexual witchcraft

I'm not fooling around anymore. Vibrators make effective magic wands, you know.

$ 21.00

downloaded shirt

You would not BELIEVE how long it took, either. And then I had to get a keygen.

$ 21.00

this country

There might have been a more clever way of saying this, but this is simple and effective.

$ 18.50

drunk like a celeb

I'm not naming any names, but you have probably already thought of several. The more of you that buy this shirt, the closer I get to that bottle of rum.

$ 18.50

too late

You don't have to make your voice heard right now. In fact, you won't even have to worry about it at all once you're looking down the barrel of a tactical shotgun.

$ 21.50

the basement

Why try so hard to legislate and censor everything else when you have the best control over your own kids? The only thing you have to worry about with this method is nosy neighbors and the police...

$ 21.50

Abolish Political Parties

Are we really represented by a two-party majority?

$ 21.00

exception

$ 21.50

criminals

$ 18.50

I live to serve

$ 18.50

serial killer logic

$ 18.50

time to kill

$ 18.50

Enough hate

I have been saving it up since childhood and I have a practically endless supply.

$ 18.50

useful to me

It's comfortable and fashionable. And I can mop up blood with it.

$ 18.50

Pundits

Only comedians should be allowed to talk smack on television and get paid for it.

$ 18.50

in the end

$ 19.00

wishes

Sometimes that shudder isn't from someone walking over your grave...sometimes it's the person who is thinking about digging it.

$ 16.00

some people

It's easy to call someone a friend. It's also easy to contract certain diseases.

$ 16.00

tired of playing

I always need the cheat codes, anyway.

$ 16.00

Truly special

I should sue all the people who filled my head with that nonsense.

$ 21.00

People care

No one wants you to hurt yourself...but other than that, you're on your own.

$ 18.50

Soul hostage revisited

More legible...still sadistic.

$ 21.00

not jealous

The things you consider valuable are usually far more valuable to you than everyone else. Stop trying to impress us.

$ 16.00

walk out

The only way to make the people running the world pay attention is by refusing to play their stupid games.

$ 18.50

comraderie

...and maybe a drink or two.

$ 18.50

insurance

At least I don't have to wear that stupid gown anymore.

$ 16.00

the defendant

...and even then you can still get a giggle or two until they're strapping you down for the execution.

$ 18.50

psychological damage

When everyone is in therapy, you have so much more to talk about. NOW WITH 1% MORE N!

$ 18.50

your child

You should be ashamed of yourself, forcing them on me like that.

$ 18.50

unaffiliated sports T

Show everybody that you're not a team player.

$ 24.00

not supposed

Get over it.

$ 18.50

Sadly, there's only one talk show host with a magazine.

$ 18.50

drama

I prefer comedies myself.

$ 18.50

forecast

A ghetto watch is in effect until 8PM.

$ 18.50

a hot mess

Served up on a bed of drama with a side order of nonsense.

$ 18.50

not going there

You might as well put your tray table up now.

$ 18.50

stop tripping

If I want to see you tripping, I will push you down some stairs.

$ 18.50

yaaaaaaaay.

Ooooo, s'all sparkly. Whooo!

$ 19.00

seen the future

Don't believe me? Look on the internet.

$ 18.50

birth defects

That's what you get for not reading the fine print. Why do you think it's there?

$ 18.50

this will end

I'll wait for the "best of" DVD.

$ 18.50

sniffs squeaks and bites

Also makes contented noises when properly rubbed on the head.

$ 18.50

concern

That MUST be it, because I honestly can't find any other reason.

$ 18.50

nightmares

Maybe I'm there right now.

$ 19.00

joy in my heart

You would be shocked at how bad that stuff stinks once it turns.

$ 18.50

value meal

And we're not even talking about large sizing it, either.

$ 18.50

soulless corpse

Could be a goth reference. Could be a zombie reference. Could be a laundry day thing. You decide.

$ 18.50

looking forward

Every day is just another chance for things to go wrong.

$ 21.00

Nature

Donate to your local disaster relief organization. Because you never know.

$ 21.00

the boogeyman

All the lurking places of your childhood demons. Or stalker exes.

$ 21.00

a recent study

It was all over the social news sites, so it's probably true.

$ 21.00

all the love

Simple and true.

$ 16.00

conversation

I like to establish these things up front before we get too involved.

$ 16.00

comfortable shirt

You get picked last a few too many times, you lose your taste for the whole experience. Especially when you're not getting pro money.

$ 24.00

boredom

It's that bad.

$ 16.00

leaving the house

Every place I go now is just a reminder of why I never go places.

$ 16.00

where's your wallet?

Every subtle hand movement towards a pocket is your justification for owning this shirt.

$ 16.00

your house

A great way to snap someone out of their illusions of security.

$ 16.00

lock your car

...and do you look in the back seat before you get in?

$ 16.00

quiet in my head

Enjoy it while it lasts.

$ 16.00

...does it matter?

In small print. Because it should be.

$ 16.00

banned

When they start talking about apocalypses and gathering souls for the great war, it's just a matter of time before the Feds come a-knockin'.

$ 16.00

friends list

The great thing about friends lists is you don't necessarily have to know the people personally. Especially if they're trying to sell you something.

$ 18.50

black fuck polo

"Black fuck polo"...huh. Sounds like a Lewis Black punchline.

$ 20.00

assault is a felony

There are some things that can't be put into words. I prefer to express them by shaking and choking.

$ 16.00

future

Between mandatory drafts and the ability to be arrested for almost anything...I'm at a loss.

$ 18.50

why I hate sports

Get it?

$ 24.00

enough drugs

Some situations require more than coping skills. They require pharmaceuticals with the minimum amount of testing for side effects.

$ 16.00

something else

I'll watch if you do it now, but hurry up because I have other stuff to do.

$ 18.50

not interested

It's sort of like the very first WR0N9wear shirt. Except not.

$ 16.00

coughing blood

Really, it just depends on how much spicy food and booze I had the previous night. But it could be the tumor.

$ 18.50

so negative

Surely you'd already figured this out from the rest of the shirts.

$ 16.00

good intentions

Stop trying to impose your ideologies on my life and adopt some orphans or clothe and shelter some homeless people or something.

$ 21.00

NO hoodie

Inflict your primal negative emotions on the world and stay toasty warm.

$ 31.00

no one cares

Stay warm and be cold at the same time.

$ 31.00

shooting

Just making a point.

$ 16.00

disappear

This wasn't meant to be funny.

$ 16.00

pictures

Buy me a graphics tablet or a scanner, and I'll draw you something catchy.

$ 16.00

government

Eventually I'm going to figure out how to put these descriptions on the main page with the shirts.

$ 16.00

depressed atheists

A question for which I have not yet received a viable answer.

$ 16.00

even life

However, unlike work, I don't have to deal with unruly people to make a meager living.

$ 21.00

the difference

The other difference is I'm not worrying about the future because I'm not planning to have one.

$ 16.00

making you cry

Your tears bring me comfort...especially when they're bloody.

$ 16.00

regret

It's a wonder I don't walk into things more considering how much time I spend looking back.

$ 21.00

cry

Now I just drink, which is kind of the same thing in reverse.

$ 16.00

insomnia

Maybe my brain just got tired of waking up with false expectations.

$ 16.00

two kinds of people

We're feeling a bit reckless today.

$ 16.00

suspicion

I've been waiting for the part where it gets cool or even sort of interesting...it's not coming, is it?

$ 18.50

before the accident

I don't feel like being funny. It hurts too much, and I have enough pain just getting up in the morning.

$ 16.00

Secret Service

We're rapidly approaching the point at which everyone is going to get a visit from some very serious people in dark suits and glasses. And not the ones that fight aliens.

$ 16.00

before the adults

Half of them want to control your every move, and the other half want to have sex with you. It's a lose/lose situation.

$ 16.00

is it me in here

Here's a practical way to conceal the iciness of your black heart.

$ 30.00

The 100th shirt

Here it is. Self-explanatory.

$ 21.50

already plotting

I never reveal my evil plans. I really like the look of terrified surprise on my victims' faces.

$ 16.00

I need a hug

Give me some love. Maybe the kind that they use to knock out horses?

$ 16.00

looky-loo

For you or the nosy person in your life.

$ 16.00

black t-shirt army

I would give you a pamphlet, but I'm all out.

$ 16.00

phonecam porn

But I guess I'll just have to settle for being the blurry ass on screen.

$ 16.00

paid to listen

This shirt can be useful in two ways: 1. DJs that get annoying requests 2. People who attract people who just want to talk. A lot.

$ 16.00

3 minutes

Think of it as an interview. If you pass, you get to keep your life.

$ 16.00

try listening

I know, I know...it doesn't matter what I was playing, it's not what you were hoping for. Try listening to it anyway.

$ 16.00

don't have anything

The objective of this shirt may not be immediately apparent. It's for DJs who are tired of being approached while mixing, only to have to give the same old reply.

$ 16.00

sex drugs & rock

A shirt for the new millennium.

$ 16.00

definition of funk

True funk never wears sleeves.

$ 17.00

Your scene is dead

...and I helped kill it.

$ 16.00

steel-toes

I kick ass that way, too.

$ 24.00

clumsy lab tech

W0RD.

$ 16.00

LOLthong

See? You're already laughing. Or is that for another reason?

$ 13.00

the sad thong

Or, how to psych out your date.

$ 13.00

out of boxers

If I had known I was going to end up taking my pants off, I would have worn something more figure appropriate. Like longjohns.

$ 13.00

in my crack

You know it's true. Now pass me the stain spray.

$ 13.00

I have knives

The apron that says "I love to prepare all sorts of tantalizing cuisine to please your palate...but I'll cut you."

$ 18.00

does not care

Anything you say can and will be disregarded in favor of more important things. Like what I'm going to eat later.

$ 18.50

enjoying

Is this what having fun feels like? I thought it was arthritis or something.

$ 16.00

bane of existence

The pay is lousy, but at least it's entertaining.

$ 16.00

smiling

You're clearly enjoying your life...damn you.

$ 16.00

recruit

...and we don't want you either. We might take your sister, though.

$ 16.00

freaks you out

Let them know that you were a freak before being a freak was cool.

$ 16.00

The Albigensians

The Cathars of Languedoc knew how to party. That's what got them all killed.

$ 16.00

the new suck

When trend-riding becomes an industry, all trends are automatically lame.

$ 16.00

slap in the mouth

Rude people need to be reminded that sometimes a mouth needs to be sore so that we know to use it sparingly.

$ 16.00

comedy club

Why would you pay money to see someone perform and then spend the whole show talking with your friends?

$ 16.00

ruining it

If you love something, you should set it free. Now go be free.

$ 18.50

torn

If you'd only shut up, you'd stop tipping the balance.

$ 16.00

argument for abortion

If I hadn't been delivered, I wouldn't have to put up with this mess now. And neither would you.

$ 16.00

excitement

The more you imagine it, the less work I have to put in.

$ 16.00

axe and shovel

Slightly changed, because this way it makes more sense...right? Right? Where are you going?

$ 18.50

Hitler

If we're going by Godwin's Law, this shirt has already lost.

$ 18.50

masturbating

I guess I should lay off...it's starting to chafe a little.

$ 16.00

really? wow.

You've had this conversation before. Why even waste the breath?

$ 16.00

admissible in court

Just wanted to establish that so you know to have a clean suit.

$ 16.00

unaffiliated

No slogans, no trademarks, no logos, no baggage. Well, no visible baggage.

$ 16.00

listen to me

I don't think I should have to repeat myself. Perhaps a bullet in your kneecap would improve your attention span.

$ 16.00

topics of discussion

I'm sure your family reunion was very interesting, but I can only carry conversations about Japanese horror films.

$ 16.00

remove expectations

We prefer to prepare you in advance for disappointment. Or shock.

$ 16.00

here for a reason

If you just wanted to look at me, I'll e-mail you a photo.

$ 18.50

drug advice

I bet you marijuana wouldn't need all those advisories.

$ 16.00

the new black

If it isn't true, then how do you explain the success of the goth culture?

$ 14.50

all music but yours

Does this explain why I never borrow CDs from you?

$ 16.00

imagine funny

Some days you don't want to do the work.

$ 16.00

paid entertainment

Free entertainment was over when public assault became illegal.

$ 16.00

on fire

...and I can help you with that, because I just refilled my lighter today.

$ 16.00

probably not

It's just so hard to know these days, isn't it? Although, if you wear this shirt and nothing else, it's unlikely that they would detain you at the airport security gate. Well, not for suspicion of terrorism.

$ 16.00

French makes sarcasm pretty

The translation: "Poor baby, would you like a cookie?"

$ 16.00

failed expectation

Now if I could just figure out how to turn that into something I could sell, I'd be able to pay my student loans.

$ 21.50

attention

So you have to repeat everything you say to me twice. That shows I'm interested, doesn't it?

$ 19.00

Touche

Now you always get the last word in.

$ 16.00

the brush-off

Well, THAT'S settled. I'm going to go get another drink.

$ 16.00

secret identity

Don't think of it as funny. Think of it as a fair warning.

$ 19.00

smell of real man

Would you rather smell like the perfume counter at the local department store or someone who just finished working on a muscle car?

$ 17.00

deceptive

I don't think this really needs a description. You can save it for later, at the police station.

$ 16.00

the usual

You were already thinking it. Just get it out of the way so no one has to ask how you are.

$ 16.00

the last person

I believe in "let and let live", but it's kinda funny to hear the muffled thumps coming from the back seat.

$ 18.50

the only one

The idea is that the shirt/text combo is garish enough to make people believe the statement is true. I turned on color selection in case orange isn't loud enough for you.

$ 16.00

stop staring

It's written on the back...get it?

$ 16.00

embarrassment

You'd think they would be grateful I don't call or visit that much.

$ 16.00

hungry tummy

Buy a shirt...feed a monkey.

$ 19.00

je suis triste

Let everyone know that you are here to kill the joy. A big sad face in glow-in-the-dark paint (which also glows under blacklight if you didn't know).

$ 21.00

corruptive influence

Usually I don't admit it up front, but I thought I'd give you a sporting chance. You poor, poor fool.

$ 21.00

festive

For when you feel like getting a little wild 'n' crazy! (And we mean very, very little.)

$ 18.50

Dirty Old Men

Pedophilia is out. Gerontophilia is in. (And legal.)

$ 18.50

keepin' it fake

You betta recognize my faux steez.

$ 18.50

fashion retarded

Anything more complicated than black and I'm prone to seizures.

$ 16.00

bite

You're safe as long as you don't make any sudden or delicious-looking movements.

$ 16.00

WOW stupid

Inspired by a former co-worker's story of an incident in a major department store.

$ 16.00

suck experience

You're seriously defying some laws of logic here. Maybe also physics.

$ 16.00

The NO shirt

According to some article I read, you have to say the word 'yes' over 20 times to offset the psychological effects of one 'no'. You have fun with that, now.

$ 16.00

Porn

What, you didn't get the memo?

$ 16.00

Burning Sensation

...I couldn't tell you why.

$ 21.00

Goal In Life

Let's be honest here. What if my goal is mass murder? Why would I tell you?

$ 16.00

the official STOP BOTHERING THE DJ shirt

Can you NOT see that I'm focusing on mixing and picking another cool song to play next? And no, I don't have that song they're playing all over the radio.

$ 16.00

Disciple of WR0N9

Say it loud and say it proud. (It's one of those in the know things.)

$ 14.50

Now You Can't See The Razor Cuts!

A long sleeve T for hiding where you have to let the demons out.

$ 23.50

What? No. Go Away.

A perfect T for when you want to be lost in thought and other people insist on trying to talk to you.

$ 16.00

ibisdesigns_happyface_vec

Pistol

Butterflies Flowers (flores-mariposas)

polygon (polígono)

name tag

Star

sad (triste)

talkballoon (globo para texto)